Hi, I’m Jen! Thank you for taking a few moments out of your day to check out my blog. My main goal here is to untangle the lies I have believed about God and about myself. This plays out in a variety of ways, which means I’ll be sharing lots of stories, but always with the above goal in mind. Only when I learned to put God in His proper place did my perspective on my life—and on Him—begin to shift.
I had an evangelical upbringing, and a southern Baptist one at that, so my religion consisted of do’s and don’ts. It was far less about getting to know God, and far more about following the rules so I didn’t make Him angry. Any time something bad happened to me, I thought God was trying to be mean and punish me for something. I believed this lie until my early thirties—that God was cruel and had no intention of giving me anything good. Or if He did give me something good, He would almost immediately take it away. He always wanted to “teach me lessons.” He was big on discipline but short on love.
A few years ago, I was fed up. I prayed and asked God to show me who He really was. Not who I believed He was, or even who other people told me He was. I wanted Him to reveal Himself through His word and was adamant about my request.
Over the past several years He has answered my prayer in ways I never would have expected. He has removed me from jobs and homes, moved me away from certain people, and scared me half to death in some instances. He has stripped me of my comforts and allowed anxiety to bring about the realization that I am not in control. In the words of Jo Saxton, “He’s going to come into your situation and redeem it and restore the years the locusts have eaten, but he’s going to come as God.”
I wouldn’t want to go through any of it again, but I am so glad I lived those experiences. Without His grace, those trials would have fed into the lie that God was cruel. Instead, because God is working everything for my good, they taught me He is far more kind than I would have dared dream. They also showed me how intimately acquainted He is with my heart and that He will do whatever it takes to draw me to Himself.
I have learned that His word is a firm foundation to stand on. It brings life and peace for those who are willing to travel the road it takes to get there. For some of us, that journey takes a bit longer. It takes a willingness to let go of our preconceptions about who God is, as well as the stubbornness that comes along with those notions. It means getting uncomfortable with the God you’ve created so you might encounter the I Am. His presence in our lives requires change, and we aren’t always willing to accept it.
My hope through this writing is to gently pull you away from your own safe harbor; to dispel some of the lies you may have believed about who God is, and about who you are. The truth is so much greater than we dare believe. I hope you’ll walk with me as I untangle what kept me bound for far too long and perhaps find some relief yourself. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.